y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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