It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
