Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
