He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Randomize
