can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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