Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
