What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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