I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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