I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
