Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
