i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
