just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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