I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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