just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
