..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
