Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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