I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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