Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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