found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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