i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize