I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cannot find my penis.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
