I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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