maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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