Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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