Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
