I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
