Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
