you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
