We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
