She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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