it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
