I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
In America we eat man semen.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
