I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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