I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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