I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
