i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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