All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
