I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
