He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You ruined the universe
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
