real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
