Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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