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Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
