I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize