Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
