these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day