Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Randomize
Follow @tfln