my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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