My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
