you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
