just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
