I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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