you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
