Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
