Fuck appropriateness.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
