I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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