For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
