What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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