So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
