I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
