I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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