its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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