WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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